Things that are free in Denmark:
So, as most people know the reason I am back in DK is to cash in on what I feel is rightfully mine: academic unemployment benefits. Sadly it is probably not as much as I originally thought, but, something is better then nothing. Right?
The plan as it used to stand was: arrive in CPH. Attend stupid CV meeting and talk about my job-soog-nings-plan (job search, for those who don't speak drunken viking). Apply for 2 bogus Danish jobs per week while working on portfolio and resume. Collect money and apply for real jobs in other countries. Get job in another country. Move to another country and tell Denmark to kiss my butt. I even had a t-shirt design all picked out that said 'Denmark can kiss my butt' with a big pair of lips and a butt, that I was going to wear to the airport. Oh, it was going to be good!
Then FREE RAGE happened.
I was supposed to get an automatic 6-month extension on my visa when I graduated. This happened to all my classmates. But the Canadians did not get this, as we were supposed to, and we had to go to the immigration center and apply for an extension. It is now *checks watch* 4.5 months later, and I have heard nary a word about my extension.
Phone calls to the center tell me that as long as my visa is under review, I am allowed to carry on as a resident and collect benefits and receive health care and all that. I was also told that it would be 'at least' another 2 months before I heard a result. Adding all this time up means that the process to give me a 6 month extension will take 6 months, and by that time I hope I'm out of here. But it still makes me feel rage.
I am an honest person, and so when asked on my ledighedserklaering (availability statement) whether I held a permanent work and residence permit, I said no. Because mine is only temporary.
Weeks went by, and I only now received a letter (a goddamned LETTER - more on this later), telling me that I have to send in a copy of my temporary visa to them. I assume this means I cannot receive my benefits until they process all this. Of course, I can't send anything by email, it has to be hard copy. And to phone them and tell them what the situation is? Oh ho ho, hold on there partner. Their hours are 10-3.
TEN TO BLEEPING THREE.
The first month of benefits is supposed to get paid out next week, so I guess I will probably miss out on that. *stabs Denmark*
What is Denmark's deal with sending EVERYTHING via letter? I got a letter from the borgerservice, I kid you not, it was ONE SENTENCE LONG.
- If you do not know where someone lives, you should probably not try to communicate with them by sending them letters. Pro tip: sending letters implies you know their address.
- You just wasted a 9dkk stamp + a buttcrapton of Danish labor to deliver a one-sentence long letter.
- Why is everyone in Denmark named Jens??
Letters are the most inefficient mode of communication and I set up a gosh-darned e-boks for that reason. GRAR!
C of all:
Has anyone else noticed that they use the most inefficient toasters here? Both Jed's and my roommate have these and no one seems to realize that they are approximately 83 years out of date.
According to the common-sense area of my brain, this toaster experiences about 95% heat loss and achieves 100% rage factor when used by foreigners who like to have their toast toasted equally on both sides, without one side getting cold while the other side gets mildly warm.
Today is voting day in Denmark and therefore:
I vote for... NO MORE DISGUSTING ALGAE MONSTERS.
Anyone who promises to implement my thesis immediately wins a prize for not being irredeemably stupid.
We found a dangerous playground. By dangerous, I mean non-safety certified and therefore incredibly fun. For this reason I do not harbor ill will to everyone in Denmark, only most people.*
*I bet this park was designed by a Swede anyways.