Tip: avoid living with a Dane... at all costs.

I would like to bring your attention to my roommate's collection of 'stuffed animals.'

Yeah.

I believe they all have names too.

PS - this is not all of them.

STRANGE MOMENTS IN LIFE:

So, as I mentioned, I live with a pig.

When she's passive, it's not so bad. It's when she starts getting excited about food that the squealing and biting starts.

Before today, I had no idea that I was also living with an Iguana.

I was in the kitchen, desultorily flipping through a Danish home-buyers magazine while waiting for my pasta to heat up. I hear a little scratch, but since I live with a pig, I thought, it's just Grynte snuffling around.

Then my roomie walks in with a hand-mirror and a flashlight.

"We have a small problem," she says.

"Oh?"

"The iguana is lost." Whereupon she casts a meaningful stare at the kitchen ceiling. I might mention that this apartment is being renovated, it's about 95% done but there are still holes here and there. There's a particularly large hole in one of the corners of the kitchen, with some pipes leading up to the ceiling.

"....Iguana?"

It honestly didn't come as much of a surprise. This house is a bit.... unusual.

I held the flashlight while she tried to aim the mirror up into the dark corridor of pipes.

"I don't see him."

*scratch scratch scratch*

It's obvious that this is one of those freak iguanas who doesn't like light, as we hear him moving across the ceiling.

"So.... how far does this ceiling go?" I'm pondering the potential for an iguana to crawl out of some random spot in my room in the middle of the night. Maybe out from behind one of the pictures of Mary and Jesus that grace my wall?

The status of the situation right now is: we placed a lamp with an incandescent bulb in the hole, to attract the iguana with light and heat. We also put some dog food (apparently he really likes dog food), and we've arranged a board leading from one of the pot-light holes in the ceiling to the top of the cupboard. The only problem now is that Grynte is staring meaningfully at the hole, as if she knows what's in there and it could potentially be tasty. I mentioned that pigs eat through bones, right? Presumably an iguana would not prove difficult to consume for a hungry pig.

Happy thoughts!

Well. Never a dull moment, I suppose.